Define It: How To Teach Respect In the Classroom Part 1
In this three-part podcast, Lauren Conner and I, break down how to teach respect in the classroom. Over the three parts, we will define respect, talk about how to model respect, and what it means to acknowledge respect. This episode goes in-depth about how to define respect.
There are many aspects of respect. Some people may think respect only applies to people, but respect can extend to the things around us too. For example, think about a possession that really matters to you; chances are, you treat that possession with respect.
A Short Break Down of Respect
[2:40] When it comes to respect in the classroom, it’s important to define it because respect is a word that means a lot of different things to different people. Having a common understanding of what respect is helps everyone be on the same page.
Educators should also model what respect looks like in the classroom. The educator sets the tone in the classroom and modeling respect to students can be a very effective way of getting students to be respectful. We will go into more detail on modeling respect in Part 2 of this podcast.
Finally, it’s important for educators to acknowledge respect. It’s okay to expect students to be respectful, but it goes a long way in creating an environment of respect when educators acknowledge when they see it. We will go into more detail on acknowledging respect in Part 3 of this podcast.
Define Respect
[3:45] Mister Brown likes to define respect as honoring people, rules, and things. Respect is also when you treat someone or something with kindness, admiration, and reverence.
Respect is a cornerstone of human interaction. We all deserve respect and in turn should give respect to others. We should also respect rules and things. For example, my car means a lot to me. I know how much it costs, and how much it is worth. I treat it with respect by driving it kindly, showing it admiration by appreciating where it gets me, and treating it with reverence by keeping it clean and putting gas in it. I respect my car.
Ownership & The Golden Rule
[4:15] Ownership can play a big role in respect. I respect my own personal vehicle because I own it, but I should also respect the rental car I borrow. I can take ownership in recognizing the value of something even if it doesn’t belong to me.
Another way to view respect is remembering The Golden Rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. This is about being respectful because people have value and worth and they deserve respect. Treat people and things as if they matter because we all want to be treated like we matter.
When we take ownership of our ability to choose respect, we take ownership of the environment we are in. If we want to live, work, or go to school in a positive environment, then we should honor people, rules, and things. It generates a common sense of respect.
Generational Differences
[7:50] We need to have a common definition of respect because there are generational differences. We, as older generations, often assume kids know what we mean when we say respect. Older generations had respect for elders and authority baked into everyday life. Our current culture has a different view of respect.
The thought now is that everyone must earn respect. There is no respect simply based on your age or level of authority. Everyone has to prove to everyone else that they are deserving of respect. In this way, the definition of respect becomes very subjective. Every other person has their own definition of what it means to show respect.
Candid conversations are key. We don’t often tell kids exactly what we mean. We can show them respect by being open and honest in our conversations with them. Being direct and forthcoming with kids makes them feel respected. We don’t have to talk down to kids or demand respect. Respect cannot be demanded otherwise you won’t get true respect. All it creates is fear.
Not Just Behavior Modification
[10:25] Sometimes disrespect is accidental. We can’t always know if someone really means to be disrespectful until we have the candid conversation with them. A student talking out of turn may not be intentional. Taking the student aside and having a candid conversation with them may reveal they didn’t know they were being disrespectful.
Teaching respect is not just behavior modification. That is why the candid conversations are important. Helping students understand the why behind respect is training them and giving them skills for life.
Active Listening
[12:25] One way to teach respect in the classroom is to teach students to engage in active listening. This means when someone is speaking they are making eye contact with the speaker, facing the speaker, and maybe nodding along to what the speaker is talking about. All of these activities show the speaker that they are being listened to and that shows them respect.
Then practice it over and over again.
Teaching respect is not a one and done approach. Once respect is defined in your classroom you will have to visit it again and again. Expectations should be reiterated and not assumed.
Reinforcing respect and other classroom values keeps them top of mind for students. Respect is not just about students respecting educators, but students respecting each other. All of this leads to a more positive school culture.
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