Affirmation Day
People are thirsty for affirmation. Teacher, Stephanie Feagin joins me for this podcast episode to talk about Affirmation Day in her classroom. Join us.
What Is Affirmation Day?
[1:13] After attending a Capturing Kids Hearts seminar, Stephanie was inspired to have her students share affirmations with each other in class every Friday.
Stephanie has a set of popsicle sticks that have each child’s name written on them. For Affirmation Day, each child will get a randomly selected popsicle stick (name down so they can’t see it) and a piece of paper. When everyone has their popsicle stick and piece of paper, they will look at the name on the popsicle stick all at the same time. They are asked to write a compliment to the child whose name is on the stick. The compliment must be as specific as possible and they cannot share it with anyone else.
Passing Notes
[3:10] After the students have completed their compliments, everyone flips their paper face-side down on their desks. One at a time, each child is asked to stand up and hand deliver their compliment to the appropriate student. They look at each other and the student receiving the compliment says “thank you” and the delivering student says “you’re welcome.” Once all of the students have received their compliment, all together they read them quietly to themselves. Stephanie has found this to be a positive exercise to do in her classroom.
Stephanie has also extended this exercise to include people outside of the classroom. Sometimes the assignment will be for students to write a compliment to an adult who works at the school. Aides, janitors, and bus drivers work hard and love to hear that they are being noticed too. Students can also write affirmations to people that they choose.
Everyone Needs Triple A
[4:50] Everyone needs Triple A: acknowledgement, acceptance, and affirmation. We often look to social media to receive these, when the best way to get them is from the people in our own lives. The Affirmation Day exercise is a way for students to receive acknowledgement, acceptance, and affirmation and to also practice giving it.
The goal of Affirmation Day is not to make students be friends with each other. The goal is to teach students how to to be kind and how to respect others, even if they disagree. These are invaluable skills that students can take into their everyday lives as youth and into adulthood.
Impacting the School Culture
[7:00] An exercise like Affirmation Day has the potential to impact the school culture in really positive ways and across all ages.
Through The Choose Well Program, I (Mister Brown), have done an exercise like Affirmation Day with educators. I see two things happen. First, most educators are hesitant to participate. Second, people have a hard time speaking directly to the person they are complimenting. I encourage the participants to address the person they are complimenting directly.
Another thing I see happen, is the person receiving the compliment will try to deflect it. I encourage them to just receive the compliment and say “thank you.” When they do this, you can see them truly receive the compliment. They smile and feel truly encouraged by the compliment.
An Affirmation Day activity for school staff could be very impactful. Even though there will still be disagreements, people will start to see their co-workers as teammates working towards a common goal. We tend to focus on the negative so easily, but taking some time to focus on the positive can foster a more positive work and educational environment that will be for adults and students.
Character and Actions
[9:15] Affirmations are best given when they are specific and have to do with someone’s character and not just the things that they do. We like to hear that we are doing well at our jobs or in school, but how much more encouraged are we when we hear someone compliment our character.
Even when adults and students don’t know each other very well, they most likely can say, “I noticed XYZ about you” to another person. That statement “I noticed” shows the person receiving the affirmation that they are seen, they have value as a person. For the person giving this kind of compliment, they are learning to look outside of themselves, to see that other people need affirmation too.
Affirming Parents
[10:55] Affirmation Day is fairly easy to accomplish on the school campus. However, to best impact a school culture, the parents and families of the students need affirmation as well. There are several ways schools and educators can connect with parents. Schools can utilize the communication tools they already have for texting or emailing to affirm parents.
An example to connect with specific parents can be sending a note or text about one thing that is seen in that person’s student that reflects positively on them, such as, “I noticed so-and-so sharing his crayons with another student today. Thank you for raising such a kind kid.”
Affirming all families could be sending a message thanking them for a particular situation, such as, “Thank you, parents, for following the flow-of-traffic signs in the parking lot this week. Drop-off and pick-up was very smooth.” Affirming parents, even the ones that don’t seem engaged, can positively affect the school culture.
A practice such as Affirmation Day can be the catalyst to improving a school’s culture. Affirmations change the way we view ourselves and other people. For some unengaged parents, it can encourage them to get involved. For educators, it can help them see their co-workers in a different light. And for students, it can help them look outside themselves. In all of these groups, affirmations help us see that everyone has value.
