The Most Important Job We’ll Ever Have
Do you remember your first job? I’ve had a lot of jobs in my life (including selling candy at school). My first “real” job was removing graffiti. I learned a lot from my jobs, but in today’s podcast, Dr. Terri Daniels and I will discuss the most important job we have ever had… PARENTING! Join us as we discuss the “real” job of parenting.
Too Good or Not Good Enough
[4:40] Are you trying to be a perfect parent? Dr. Terri Daniels is a parent and has been in education for 37 years. She is here to tell us that it is not about perfect parenting.
“Real parents aren’t perfect and perfect parents aren’t real.”
Parenting is about raising independent and responsible individuals, not perfect people. It’s also not simply telling kids what they should or need to do. Our job as parents is to provide guidance and allow our kids to experience life and make mistakes. We need to let them make choices on their own so they can learn from their failures.
It is natural to want to protect our kids, but we can’t protect them from everything. Of course, we should definitely jump in if the situation is dangerous, but learning to make choices and live with them is a vital part of development.
Acknowledging our own mistakes is another way to help our kids. Letting them see our failures and how we respond to them gives our kids a model to look to. This is what equipping our kids looks like. It’s important that we are there for them when they fail, but we do allow them to fail. Just like us, they aren’t perfect.
A Reflection of Ourselves
[7:25] Sometimes our parenting is driven by appearances. We are worried about how others will view us as parents when our kids have failures. This can make kids afraid to make mistakes because they are afraid of what we will think.
Remember that there are no perfect parents and no perfect kids. One way to combat “perfection” parenting is to ask ourselves some questions:
Is our response to the situation about ourselves or is it about our kids?
Have we considered what’s best for our kids in this situation? This will determine how we respond.
Setting Boundaries
[11:30] Our kids are watching and listening to us. We don’t have to be perfect, but we should take some time to self-reflect.
What are we doing?
What are we modeling?
What are we saying?
Then set those boundaries.
We are not our kids’ friend. Our kids will get mad at us. When we know what is best for them and set a boundary, they may not like that. Our kids may say hurtful things to us. But our job is to guide them and lead them. Boundaries build respect.
“The kids job is to push the boundaries.”
Our kids are trying to grow and express themselves. Our job is to set boundaries and let them make choices within those boundaries. Our kids will push the boundaries. Give them space to grow and don’t give up. Kids push boundaries because they want them even though they don’t think that they do.
The Most Rewarding Thing About Parenting
[16:00] We have the most important job of raising human beings. There will come a time for tough love and hard choices. Parenting is about a long-term impact. Take it one day at a time and consider what is the most loving thing that can be done now in this moment. As hard as it may get, we are always going to be our kids’ parent.
“Do your best and never give up.”
What will make our kids successful and happy? Our support in their life journey. Ultimately, our kids want us to be in their lives and for us to be their parents. We can do that by setting boundaries, allowing them to make choices and experience mistakes, and supporting them along the way.
