How To Approach Divisive Issues | Q&A With Mister Brown
This was a tough conversation. Stephanie Feagin really put me in the hot seat with questions about owning up to our mistakes as parents and dealing with divisive issues. Join us for the Q&A with Mister Brown.
Are you a hypocrite?
[1:40] Parents can get really bogged down with guilt over the mistakes they made in the past. It may seem like hypocrisy to teach their kids to do something different than what they did themselves. I say this is not hypocrisy at all. It’s called being a parent.
To learn from our past mistakes, is to be in a position to teach others what not to do. Our mistakes are learning tools to help our kids make better choices than we did. We aren’t saying that parents must share their whole past with their kids if they don’t want to. But being honest about our past with our kids can create more trust and understanding.
You never know what someone is going through
[3:50] Having worked with students for so long, nothing is surprising anymore. I realize that the human condition hasn’t changed. This is why I encourage students to remember that they never know what someone else is going through.
As educators, we can try empathize and listen. Ultimately, we have to report when we find out from students that abuse or other issues are happening. It’s hard and we might feel like we’re betraying their trust, but again, we can be honest with students. We can let them know we are there to listen to them and sometimes help will come in the form of a mandated report.
I don’t purport to be perfect. Having students like me is not the goal. My goal is to be an imperfect role model. I appreciate that a lot of students feel like they can talk to me, but I let them know that I’m just a normal person trying to make good choices.
“I love you enough for you not to like me anymore.” - Mister Brown
Success stories
[8:20] I hear from schools and students all the time. They thank me and ask questions. I especially love getting to hear how my videos inspire students to make better choices. I don’t take personal credit for this. I am truly thankful that people hear the message and change their lives for the better.
Recently, I was leaving a coffee shop and a young man named Brandon stopped me. He had heard me speak at his school 12 years before. He said that my message had changed his life. I was amazed and humbled to hear this.
At the time, Brandon was a bully and feeling a lot of guilt over it. He couldn’t see how he could change. When Brandon heard my message about the power to choose, he was blown away. Brandon finally realized that he could choose to change. I invited Brandon to share his story and you can watch or listen to Part 1 and Part 2 of that podcast.
Each “success story” is so much more than me and The Choose Well Program. I believe education is a joint effort. Parents and educators have been planting seeds long before students hear about Mister Brown. It’s a privilege that I get to water seeds that have already been planted. Parents and educators get to watch those seeds grow.
Touchy subjects
[11:55] The way I approach big, divisive issues is to remember that at the heart of every issue there are human beings. I believe that all people are made in the image of God and have inherent worth and value. So I have to value the people and ask how I can approach the topic with humanity in mind.
Everyone is different and has different opinions on topics. Even if we disagree, it’s important to remember there are humans involved. I will treat people with respect because I believe they deserve respect as fellow human beings. Disagreeing is not disrespecting. It’s about how we treat each other.
I have strong opinions about some topics. I need to be humble enough to realize that I could be wrong. Even if I’m right, it doesn’t give me the right to be disrespectful. I try to remember to speak the truth in love. Truth can be hard to hear, but it’s necessary. Our feelings change all day, every day. I don’t want anyone to tip toe around my feelings, I want to hear the truth and hear it given with respect and love.
It’s unfortunate that in our culture today we can’t disagree without being demonized or called names. I believe that we can have a conversation. We can agree to disagree and commit to decency. Conversations and respectful disagreements help us understand each other and get to better solutions to our problems.
The many facets of Mister Brown
[18:30] I love teaching and creating, and I love sharing my life with people. I love it so much that I have four main segments of my work and life: The Choose Well Program, Hello Mister Brown, Proclaim Ministries, and Life With the Browns. You can learn more about all of these by going to TheChooseWellGroup.com.
Even though I have all of these platforms, I’m the same person wherever I go. My message is foundationally the same on each platform, to make better choices to live a better life. Whether it’s your faith life, your personal life, or your school life we can all be making better choices. So remember when you see me around to shout, “Choose well!” and I’ll shout, “Oh yeah!”
