Are You Running On Empty? You Must Listen to This | *FOR PARENTS & EDUCATORS*
My daughter had been on over 20 flights before the age of two. I will never forget the preflight safety instructions that the flight attendants gave every time before we took off.
One of the safety measures they tell you about is what will happen if the cabin loses air pressure. Oxygen masks will drop down from above you and you must put them on so that you can breathe.
The reason that this safety measure stood out to me, was that they tell you that you must put your own mask on BEFORE you help anyone else around you to put their mask on. That also includes any children that are with you.
The reason for this is very clear. You can’t help other people unless you help yourself first. You can’t be helpful if you can’t breathe.
Output vs. input: playing the gas game
For those of us who serve others, the thought of putting ourselves first seems very selfish. Yes, educators and parents, you should be putting yourself first. This is you first, leading from the inside out. You can only lead others after you have taken care of yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, you have nothing to give to anyone else.
I want you to take away this main thing. Write this down:
“If my output exceeds my input, my upkeep will be my downfall.”
If you put out so much energy and that output exceeds what you are putting back into yourself, eventually that output will exceed your input and it will lead to your downfall. It sounds pretty dire and it can be.
You may feel the downfall as burnout. You may be juggling a lot of things and then those things start dropping like balls. You may feel empty. Instead of stopping to replenish yourself, you may try harder and juggle more balls believing that your value comes from doing and doing. Your value comes from being who you are.
What you do flows from who you are. If you’re not building yourself up and you’re not in a healthy place, you can’t do much for others.
This act of doing and doing and juggling more and more is like playing the gas game. You know you need gas in your car, but you try to drive it just a little bit further. Eventually, you run out of gas and you’re stuck on the side of the road. The same is true for us as humans. If your output exceeds your input, your upkeep will be your downfall
You must put yourself first. Replenish yourself so you have something to give. I encourage you not to play the gas game with your life because you matter and the work you do matters.
Do these 3 things to refill your tank
To refill your tank, I want you to do these 3 things: evaluate, plan, and execute.
#1. Evaluate
Ask yourself the questions below and be honest with yourself. This is self-awareness. Really evaluate these questions in a deep way. If you want to, ask someone to help you evaluate these things in your life.
Am I juggling too many things?
Am I feeling overwhelmed?
Am I doing too much?
The self-management part of this exercise is to ask this final question:
What is mine to do? This one question has helped save my life.
Do you need to do some subtraction? Do you need help figuring this all out? Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Even the helpers need help sometimes and that’s okay.
#2. Plan
After you evaluate whether or not you are putting yourself first, make a plan for what you are going to do to actually put yourself first. The best thing to do is to write down the plan. I suggest starting with this statement,
“I will do ____ by ____.”
You are stating that you will do something by a certain date. You may need to subtract something or add something to your life in order to put yourself first. It will take focus and honesty with yourself. Share the plan with someone who will follow-up with you and see if you have accomplished your plan.
#3. Execute
Last, you will execute the plan. This is choosing to do what you know you should do to put yourself first. It’s one thing to write it down, but another thing to follow through. Sometimes you make decisions, but those decisions are not done until you choose to do them. Decisions are thoughts. Choices are actions. You have to choose to execute the plan to put yourself first.
Many people put others before themselves. This is true for everyone, adult and student alike. There are some students who are trying to do too much. This strategy can be used to help students evaluate if they are putting themselves first or doing too much. But we need to do this for ourselves in order to model it for students.
Cars don’t run without gas. You can’t help someone else breathe if you can’t breathe. Take care of you first and lead from the inside out.
“When you make better choices you will live a better life, so choose well. Oh yeah!”
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